Speaking of...

...Not knowing what you're talking about...

Raving dipshit Tom Sorenson says that Rush Limbaugh doesn't know football. He also says that he rarely listens to Rush's show, but the truth is that he never listens to it. Sorenson also pretends (as a so-called sportswriter) to know football and other sports, but anyone who has ever read his column can attest that such is definitely not the case. His worthless fishwrap, The Charlotte Obscurer even keeps his byline hidden online so that would-be eschewers like me will sometimes accidentally read his toe-the-company-line drivel. Swear to God, if I know beforehand that an article comes from his pen, I will not waste my time. His lack of writing talent is that bad. Today, though, seeing the headline "OK, Rush doesn't know football, but so what?" I forgot to screen my actions through the be wary of inane talentless idiots filter, and clicked the link to the article.

Newsflash to Tommy: When Rush references "The Media", he's talking about that media that is part of the problem...YOU. Your paper acts as if its purpose is to drive the culture of its readership toward your defintions of social equity. Your paper is owned by McClatchy Media, the same folks that published Obama's memoirs (during the campaign) and professed its endorsement (again during the campaign) of the Big Zero. The exact same meritless fawning over McNabb that Mr. Limbaugh was criticizing then is what he (and I) can't stomach from you dingbats now: the lust to prop up an undeserving black man in a position of (unearned) responsibility as a manner of effecting a "spread-the-wealth" equity on everything in our society. Another newsflash that you aren't bright enough to grasp on your own: Affirmative Action is a bad thing. If you reward a person of color, simply because of the color of their skin, then that is an act of racism that perpetuates that person's inferiority, and their dependence on your presumed generosity.

This is part of what Rush was criticizing when he worked for ESPN. Paraphrasing: "McNabb is a mediocre quarterback, and part of what keeps him from being a better QB, is the lack of criticism regarding his faults... that criticism which is withheld by you, the liberal media, because of his skin-color." And it's just like you cocksuckers to run from the blame you deserve by claiming that Rush's comments were critical of McNabb, instead of you. And you keep shaming yourselves by your continued pretense to miscredit that blame.

In your very first sentence, you say,

I don't care if Rush Limbaugh buys a small piece of an NFL franchise. He'll be a minority owner, and being part of a minority might be good for him.

And in that statement, I say that you sir are a liar. You do care, and greatly. As does your employer. That is why you wrote the piece, and that is why they publish it. Rush's long-held minority status, however, is a journalist unafraid to report the truth. Something you know nothing of.

You also wrote,

Some found his comments racially loaded.

Is that any more astute or insightful than saying, "Some people recognized that he was speaking English, which is the predominant language in the country where he lives"?

Then, you also drag out this nonsense:

There was a time when the subject was an issue, a time McNabb would have been shifted to the defensive backfield, a time black athletes were not given the opportunity to run an offense...

Not given the opportunity to run an offense? Bullshit. Name one, Einstein. Name one black NFL player, or a player of any color, who wasn't allowed to play quarterback, regardless of his talent, but because of his skin color.

One. Player. Ever.

Can you even be that fucking dense? Can you honestly, factually report on a situation out there where the best quarterback on a given team was relegated to playing a different position simply because of his skin color? And none of the decision-making people, coaches and management, cared enough about winning to put the most capable player at each position in the most appropriate job, on this mystery team?

Not only does Rush Limbaugh know more about football than you know about journalism, he knows more about football than you know...about football.

You say you found his comments "silly." What is silly about your ineptitude? What is silly about your industry's attempts to embrace and promote socialism? What is silly about the abrogation of responsibility when it comes to reporting the news? What is sillier than a sitting US President supplicating himself (and all of us, by proxy) to the IOC for the benefit of his Chi-town cronies? Did you criticize that silliness?

Maybe there's a team out there with so few quarterbacking options, that the O!Bummer's lack of experience or talent might seem like no big hinderance. What do you think?

To you, Tom Sorenson, this flush-o-gram.

Dickhead.

Almost makes a feller wanna revisit McCarthyism

I just watched Lions for Lambs a few nights ago. The thrust of the film, as you've no doubt read elsewhere, is the presumed evil of war, any war, and the cost in terms of human lives lost at the hands of evil war-mongering politicians.

The real impetus of this movie is Redford's hope that America should lose, the same as Hanoi Jane's motivation in Vietnam.

If the concept of "peace" meant anything to these people, they'd embrace the value of fighting for it; they'd show a measure of empathy toward the citizens of Korea and Vietnam and Afghanistan and Iraq. But their dream is not for real peace. Their dream is for America, and especially American Capitalism, to fail.

Let me tell you a simple truth, that if no one else is ever willing to say aloud again, you'll at least hear it from me: War is honorable, and is a vital element to human society. No less than dogs meeting in the park and deciding who will lead the pack, man must never get to the point wherein the concept of going to battle becomes an ugly or shameful thing. Cowardice is the only shameful thing, and you sir, Robert Redford, along with Meryl Streep and Tommy Cruise and everyone else who contributed to this moonbatical drivel, are only cowards whose lonely, pathetic, last resort is to influence others to be cowards like you.

I believe that it is perfectly acceptable, even honorable, to be a dove in the company of hawks. I value peace as much as, if not more than, any other American, but when it's time for battle, the bad guys will never see me run. If you are a dove, be a dove, but do not expect us hawks to file off our talons to avoid shaming you by your comparitive cowardice. Just get the fuck out of our way.

The lions aren't for the lambs, asshole. The lions are for the other lions. The lambs are inconsequential.

Janeane Garafalo called you a racist

This contemptible gutter-slut proposes that anyone who dares organize in opposition to the current socialist regime is a racist. Even if you practice peaceful assemblage, and speak in calm respectful language, if you have the audacity to not swallow EVERYTHING they've dished on your plate, anything short of adoration should be labeled hate-speech. Well, I know a thing or three about hate-speech. Shit bitches, I invented it! And tea-parties ain't it. What she does, though, is close. And it's YOU she's hatin' on...



And these Hitler-youth at UNC suggest that "No one is illegal" according to their signs, and think nothing of violently thwarting a peaceful speech...by a United States Congressman!

The embedding data for this clip was removed from the N&O's page, but here's a link to that short video. Hooray for Campus Security macing these anti-Americans, but those forces should have made certain the vandals among them (maybe they were ALL vandals?) completely cleared the area outside.

Fortunately, these other UNC students are much better representatives for the University and for humankind.



Garofalo, wasn't your 15 minutes up like decades ago? Remind us what was worth putting up with you in the first place.

Mr. Towelhead

To all Islamic terrorists:

And I certainly include those of you who have graduated from your madrassa, on to organized "jihad"...but also those Muslims among you who are tolerant of or apologetic for so-called jihadists. Get this:

You are cowards. Every last cock-sucking one of you. Jihad = crying-assed, fudge-packing, pansified chicken-shits.

I haven't posted flush-o-gram on a daily basis, because all my recent flushes have been catching up what I've owed to you. Also, henceforward, any day without a defined and described flush, you may assume the default flush is to you.

Also, get this: Regardless of the fact that the sheeple of my country fucked up and elected your messiah as President, do not think that I will stand down or cower in your presence. You walk your carcass up in my yard, and you can forget about your lower-deity, Allah, coming to rescue your little candy-ass. For that matter, you can forget about any virgins awaiting your arrival in heaven. You and I meet up, whether it's here or in some afterlife, and I am unloading the holiest can of whup-ass on you that your faggoty allah has ever even heard of.

And claiming your would-be virgins.

And don't forget, you can't even get "sloppy-seconds" in Hell.

Yours most unmercifully,

Rusty Straightrazor

Keith Olbermann: Ivy Leaguer...ha!

Keith Olbermann gets reamed by Ann Coulter. By now, many of you have already read this, where the fabulous Ms. Coulter takes Keith out behind the proverbial woodshed. Ladies and gentlemen, this is what a good flush-o-gram is all about. I first read this a couple days ago, and didn't have time for posting.

Olbermann likes to assume a holier than thou aura. Text below excerpted from Ms. Coulter's site, which if you haven't been visiting, the real question is: why not? Go read the whole thing...do it now.

Except Keith didn't go to the Ivy League Cornell; he went to the Old MacDonald Cornell.

The real Cornell, the School of Arts and Sciences (average SAT: 1,325; acceptance rate: 1 in 6 applicants), is the only Ivy League school at Cornell and the only one that grants a Bachelor of Arts degree.

Keith went to an affiliated state college at Cornell, the College of Agriculture and Life Sciences (average SAT: about that of pulling guards at the University of South Carolina; acceptance rate: 1 of every 1 applicants).

Olbermann's incessant lying about having an "Ivy League education" when he went to the non-Ivy League ag school at Cornell would be like a graduate of the Yale locksmithing school boasting about being a "Yale man."

Touche, Undermann! Couldn't have said it better. Except that I'm ditto-ing Ann with a flush-o-gram, straight to you.

Where "Bossy" = shallow

Wanna know what has awaken Rusty from his peaceful slumber? It's a blogger that he thought he actually liked.

Goes to show that it ain't always the first impression.

Today, we're going to issue a flush-o-gram to Bossy. Rusty thought Bossy was funny, 'cause she keeps it real, real silly. And Rusty has an appreciation for silly (don't ask). But if you already have a real husband (who is not Rusty) and you publicly show your adoration for a pretend-husband (who is a dingbat named John Cusak, pictured with an upside-down moustache), and you reference crap like the huffington post (as if there's ever anything but ultra left wing horse hockey to be found there), and your commenters turn out to be a bunch of left-wing loonies...Uh...sorry, but I try to associate with folks who have more going for them.

You can keep your real husband, I won't come knocking. But, please don't breed with your pretend-husband, as I'd hate for another generation of his kind.

It chaps my hide whenever I hear celebrities whoring their celebrity for the liberal, peace-monger, hug-a-tree-&-hate-America movements, but you...I thought you were different.

Sister-In-Law's teacher

My sister-in-law...let's say her name rhymes with [stricken from the record], is currently working on her Doctorate in Applied Theoretical Rocket Surgery, and is required to take a certain class for the curriculum. This class is being "taught" by an instructor who apparently believes that the only way to learn something is to be forced to inundate oneself in every conceivable nuance of the material from every perspective imaginable for 23 hours and 59 minutes of every day, neglecting one's kids and food and water and everything else just to write yet another essay on who oughtta play Rosencrantz and who oughtta play Guildenstern if good ol' Willie Shagspeak's play about the Danish Prince was to get itself made into yet another movie.

My advice to you, so-called "teacher" at Harvard-On-The-Highway...try another method. If you can't find a way to generate a little enthusiasm for one of the greatest pieces of literature ever written, without resorting to total immersion, then perhaps the failing is yours. Give 'em a break, you bitch.

Get thee to my turd-flush!

You first, asshole.

Tim Graham reported on Newsbusters that Bill Maher's plan for economic recovery would be to legalize marijuana and execute evil rich people. I say that we should execute evil rich potsmokers like Maher.

One one hand, I appreciate HBO for some of the mini-series it has produced and delivered: Band of Brothers, Rome, The Sopranos. But, I can't abide the fact that this guy has a vehicle for spewing his hatred of America. I keep wanting to cancel or boycott HBO for running his program, but then along comes Taking Chance. Note: I watched that movie last night, and thought it was great, but wondered if HBO would've aired it if it more-patriotically publicized the worthiness of PFC Phelps' sacrifice.

Seriously, though, how about a show of hands? Would anybody miss this guy? I could get on board with his idea if we start by executing him. And I'd pay to see it.

Damn you, Bill Maher.

Sidney "Butterball" Lowe

Generally, the Flush-O-Grams go out regarding the recently past actions of some human weed. This one, though, is extended sewage-pipe-wise to someone about to do something.

Before you get all Gee, he's like Nostradamus...

I've just noticed it before, so I kinda know what to expect.

Tonight's UNC/NCSU game will be played in the Smith Center. Sindy Lowe (misspelling intentional) and his players are such babies, that they'll bring their own red chairs to sit on because their tender little tushies might get chafed sitting on a blue chair. I am not kidding. Look closely during the timeouts.

Aforementioned Lowe may also wear his Red Jacket, because it is so intimidating to Carolina fans and their team. Honestly, I find myself so terrified when watching him transformed from mediocre ...to... mediocre-but-with-red-jacket, simply by putting on a red jacket, that I yell "RED JACKET!" tauntingly at the television.

Ka-whoosh...comin' at ya, Sindy.

Michael Moore, please die a horrible death as soon as possible

This is what you get if you combine the DNA from a slug trail and the exhumed remains of Hitler in some kind of cloning "what if?" experiment-gone-awry.

Wouldn't it be fun to drape this guy over a bed of fire ants, drive tent stakes through his hands and feet, record time-lapsed photography of the ensuing carnage, and market the film as the latest in the Scared Straight series?

Yeah, well, it may be fun. But, what if those same fire ants passed on genetic material to next-generation fire ants, who took on some of the charteristics of Michael Moore? Hard to imagine something more sinister than fire ants, until you consider how life would be to have thousands of little Michael Moores infesting your backyard.

This is maybe the number one America Hater out there.

And he gets today's Flush-O-Gram.

Get out, cheaters!

Today is the 1st day of MLB's Spring Training. Underscoring the League's growing irrelevance is this guy, and the League's treatment of him.

This past week, we heard his confession that he took steroids for a brief portion of his career, the implication being that that was way back when. He claimed, in an interview with Peter Gammons, that it was mostly "the culture" then (the time when he was a Texas Ranger) and that he felt like he was under a lot of pressure to perform having been given a huge contract.

Uh, bullshit. A-roid, you lied about cheating until you were exposed.

You felt huge pressure to cheat. Not because of your pretend committment to satisfy your fans, but to satisfy your greed for dollars and fame.

Major League Baseball is complicit in your guilt, because they willingly looked the other way regarding testing and accountability for drugs. They had a product that folks didn't want so much any more. Why? Striking ball-players who already made more money each season than most fans would see in their lifetimes. What'll bring 'em back? Home runs, that's what. Big offensive production equals excitement. And the fans will forget their distaste if we repackage the product as a sportier, new & improved model.

Yes, MLB is partly to blame. But that doesn't exonerate you, asshole. The only way professional baseball will ever truly win me back as a fan is the day they begin cutting cheaters out of the picture. That means banishment. And I mean every last one of you, even if I liked you once. Certainly that includes the Barry Bonds, Mark McGuires, Sammy Sosas, and Jason Giambis of the world, but it also includes any of the perceived good guys. For instance, if Junior Griffey ( a personal favorite) cheated, I'd say kick him out for good. I'll go on the record as saying that I don't think that's the case, but the point I'm making is that I say nobody is excused for cheating.

Pete Rose was my baseball hero. And I cared deeply that he was banned by Giamatti. I defended him to anyone who would listen. I believed him when he said he didn't break the rules. But he did. And he made it worse by lying to me about it. No amount of contrition now, makes up for betraying my trust then. If I was a Hall of Fame voter, and held the swing vote (if somehow he became eligible) he'd get the thumbs-down from me. If I were Commissioner, every single last living-loving one of the players who have ever-even-once taken steroids (read: any performance enhancing drugs...banned/not-banned/frowned upon, etc.) would be purged in every regard from professional baseball. Ditto for every manager, coach, trainer, executive, or owner who actively or passively condoned the behavior.

MLB is not a game anymore. And until there's some recognizable purity to the competition and record books, they can just count me out.

To you, Major League Baseball, I say fuck you. To A-rod, you get today's Flush-O-Gram.

Barney the Fascist

Barney the Frank.

Seriously, cocksucker. Do you ever say some of the shit out loud in private, just to see how inane it sounds...before slobbering it publicly?

You were quoted as saying this (yesterday?) to one of the financial CEOs who are appearing before the Senate. I keep waiting for one of them to shoot back at you how ironically, absurdly comical it is that you are in a position of authority regarding the fucked-up state of the economy. Talk about the inmates running the asylum.

The point you were making is that the folks running these companies should abdicate the leadership of their companies to you, so that you could decide who earns what and why in those companies? But they should remain close by to remind you of how your hairbrained ideas might indeed fuck things up worse? So that, at least, if things turned around at the new Democratically Operated Company which was formerly known as Company X, you could bask in the credit? You could sound the clarion about Socially Controlled Economy! You could laud the benefits of Spreading The Wealth!

You said:

"They have to convince people that they've learned enough from the mistakes
they've made so that we can work together going forward with them not in the
driver's seat, but inevitably playing a role so we can fix things."

And I say, here's today's Flush-O-Gram Barney the Frank. Do not think I've forgotten your prominent role in how FannieMae went tits-up.

Delivered fresh to you...my turds. Please chew with your mouth closed.

Sucking sucks!

1st installment, woo-hoo!

• The inaugural daily flush-o-gram goes out to Shuhshevski.

• Here, he is seen simultaneously hiding his face and suppressing a smile, because his players (notably Kyle Singler and Gerald Henderson) are thugs, which is embarrassing on one level, but but also very much in line with what he teaches to his players.

• Everyone saw Singler elbow Tyler Hansbrough, and deservedly get a technical foul for it. He should have gotten the thumb. Singler was quoted today as saying, "I was trying to dislodge the ball." Uh, no asshole...the ball was nowhere near your cheap-shot elbow or your hands.

• On the other hand, not everyone caught Henderson's maneuver. At 34.9 seconds remaining in the game (see if you recognize the trend with Henderson and late-game situations where his team is getting thumped), standing next to Hansbrough on the right side of the lane during a Duke free-throw miss, Henderson hooks his right arm under Hansbrough's left elbow and punches him in the chest, slamming Tyler to the court.

• To the naysayers who would suggest that a puss-boy like Henderson could not throw Hansbrough on his ass, I'd tend to concur...if they're both wrestling. But one of them was playing basketball, while the other was committing assault. It's much easier that way.

• I could be wrong about the smile in the picture. This could be where he's thinking ahead to that post-game shower he'll be enjoying with Scheyer and Paulus.

Shuhshevski, this FOG is for you and your punk-ass program. It's a squishy one, with some popcorn husks (from the extra buttery Orville Redenbacker I had while savoring your 4th straight home beat-down from this senior class). Enjoy it, Ratface!